Beagle Bites

Just when Mum is starting to walk every day again the rain has started. I love  walks but I hate getting wet.  Mum says that I am too used to living in the house and I am spoiled, beagles are  working dogs and should tolerate water but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.  She also says that we desperately need the water and I should be grateful but my  mind does not work that way -I work in instant gratification and living in the  moment.
Mum seems to be very good at judging when the rain will stop for 30 minutes so  we can go and walk around the block.There was only one day last week when I  looked out of the front door, sat down and said “I’m not going!”  Luckily for me we have the garden and I can do the necessary there but Mum is  concerned that I cross my legs for too long waiting for a break in the rain. I do  hold on if I can but there have been several times when I just couldn’t wait any  longer. When this happens Mum and I have a game we play where she dries me  off with my towel and I run around the house like a puppy.

Sometimes things just don’t turn out the way I expect them to be. Earlier this week Mum was cleaning out the refrigerator. She had quite a lot of things to get rid of so she put a trash bag into the sink- so I couldn’t stick my nose into it, and started putting all the things she no longer wanted in the refrigerator into it. In the middle of doing this she looked at her watch and realized that she had an appointment. Leaving the bag in the sink she grabbed her stuff, put me into my crate, gave me a cookie, and left the house. Even though I get into my crate when Mum goes out I am not shut in and I usually get out and sit in the chair by the window so I can look for Mum coming back. This time it was far more interesting to go into the kitchen where all the delicious smells were escaping from the bag in the sink.

Beagles are not small dogs but we are not large either. If I stand on my hind legs I can counter surf to about 4 – 6 inches deep. I stood on my hind legs near the sink and found that if I really stuck my tongue out a long way I could touch the edge of the bag. After several moments of stretching I managed to get hold of a small piece of the trash bag and started on pulling it out of the sink. It was not easy to do. The weight of the trash in the bag made it particularly awkward and I had to keep getting down when my legs got tired and would not support me. I was determined though and kept jumping up and working at the bag to get it and all the “goodies” in it down onto the floor so I could enjoy the feast. After about half an hour of trying finally the bag came over the edge of the sink. After all my efforts that is exactly what happened – the bag came over the edge of the sink – only the bag! In all my efforts to lift the bag and it’s heavy contents over the edge

I had succeeded in emptying out the things I really wanted into the sink and pulling just the bag over the edge. I was so disappointed!

Dad came back shortly after that and found out what I had done. He wasn’t very sympathetic! When Mum got home and he showed her the bag she laughed and looked at me. “I’d love to have seen Mort’s face when he got the bag out of the sink” is what she said to Dad, laughing all the time she said it. Oh well, on to the next thing. Mum has opened the patio door and the squirrels are in the persimmon tree. I’m off to bark at them so they drop the persimmons for me to eat. Yum!

Recently I was not feeling too good. My tail hurt and so did my back. Mum noticed that something was wrong because my tail was drooping down behind me and usually it is pointing straight out or wagging- but it hurt so I wasn’t doing either of those things.

Mum and dad have this insurance policy that covers most of my vet bills so they never worry about the cost if I need help from the vet. They put me into Mums car and took me to the emergency vet where they took some of my blood (not a pleasant experience) gave me something that made me sleepy and then took pictures of my insides. They could not find anything structurally wrong with me and then the vet asked if I had been swimming. Mum started to laugh because she knows how much I hate water. She told the vet “no” and the vet went on to explain about something called swimmers tail. Apparently you don’t have to go swimming to get it but it happens when the tail gets tired or over used and is similar to having pulled muscles.

The vet gave me some medicine and told Mum to keep me quiet for several days.

The medicine did make me sleepy but I recovered very quickly and the next day was wagging my tail and back to normal. The only problem was Mum was having a very hard time keeping me calm and quiet.

I got shouted at this week.  I saw an opportunity and went for it.  Unfortunately Mum didn’t see it the same way I did.

 It was early in the morning and Dad was getting ready for work.  Mom was preparing her breakfast and I was hovering around her feet in case she dropped something or chose to give me part of what she was preparing – she never has done that but I am always hopeful.

 Dad came downstairs and was leaving so Mum went to say goodbye and that is when I took my opportunity.  The mushrooms that Mum was cutting were within my reach.  I stood up on my back legs, reached as far as I could onto the counter top and took one –yummy!  I looked around and Mum was still in the other room with Dad so I repeated the process and helped myself to another piece of mushroom.

 Unfortunately for me Mum heard my toenails tapping on the kitchen floor and returned to see what I was doing and caught me in the act of purloining a mushroom.  She shouted at me from across the room and I leapt down but not before I had snagged one more mushroom.

 Mum did not stay mad for long and I got what I wanted – a tasty snack from the kitchen counter top.

Why is it that whenever I find a new source of fun, Mum finds a way to stop me?

I love to eat.  I eat lots of different things and enjoy most of them.  Mum is quite pleased that I do enjoy eating fruits and vegetables but sometimes she thinks I over indulge.

We have a persimmon tree in our back yard and I love eating the fruit – even when they are not quite ripe.  I have a great arrangement with the squirrels.  They climb into the tree and pick a fruit and sit there eating it.  I come running out of the house barking at them, at which point they drop the fruit and I can grab it.  I usually take it into the house and sit under the dinning table to eat it.

This year I was really enjoying the fact that I did not have to rely on the squirrels.  Our tree had so much fruit that the branches were nearly bent down to the ground.  All I had to do was stand on my hind legs and I could reach to eat the fruit straight off the tree.

My sister saw me doing this and thought I was very cute but Mum had different ideas.  She was much more concerned that I was eating so much so she pruned the tree!  Now I cannot reach any of the branches so it’s back to relying on the squirrels to help me.

I take my role as CFO very seriously but I overheard mum talking the other day and I became very confused.  Mum always tells everyone that I am CFO of her company – that is Chief Fertilizing Officer but the other day I heard her talking to someone about another type of CFO – Chief Financial Officer.

I decided I needed to step up and take on all aspects of the role.  Mum has recently released her first CD.  It is called Unwind and it is 20 minutes of hypnosis to help people switch off all the pressures and stresses of the day so that they can become fun, playful and loving and focus on their life away from work.  One of the first CD’s that mum sold was paid for in cash and I saw this as my opportunity to prove what a good CFO I really am.

I burglarized Mum’s purse and banked the cash for her – in my tummy.  She knows I have a tendency to eat money but she was actually quite cross when she came downstairs and found I had raided her purse.

After a few days the money reappeared during my “Other’ CFO activities but Mum is still deducting it from my cookie allowance – she says the real banks will not like money that has been processed through a dog!

I have enjoyed going out walking with Mum this week.  Her health people have finally told her she can start walking again and I go with her.  She is not going very far right now but at least she can take me out – which is a good thing because my tummy is a bit big at the moment. The other thing I have to be really careful about is getting enough to drink.  It is quite often evening time when Mum goes for her walk and this week it was still very hot.  We walk as far as the water fountain in the park where Mum pours a nice refreshing drink into my bowl and then we walk home.

Exercise is good but so is staying hydrated.

One of my very important jobs is helping Mum with the garden.  I am CFO(chief fertilizing officer) and self appointed head of security.  Earlier this week my security skills were needed.  A little white cat has moved into our neighborhood and likes sitting and challenging my fertilizing rights in Mum’s vegetable garden.  I came out to make a patrol while Mum was doing some weeding and caught the cat in the act – so to speak.  I immediately gave chase.  The cat jumped up onto the fence and began running with me in hot pursuit.  Then disaster!  One of Mums plants put out very long trailing vine like shoots and I was so busy watching the cat I did not see it.  I tripped over the plant and did a complete somersault when I got back on my feet the cat had gone and I then spent several minutes looking for it.  Mum was laughing so hard between her concern that I had not hurt myself – still at least the vegetables are safe.

I have been learning restraint over the last few weeks.  Mom has been very pleased with my progress.  It all started a few weeks ago
when Mom’s strawberry plants started to produce fruit.

I am very partial to strawberries.  I am also very good at finding the ripe strawberries – which pays tribute to the quality of my
nose since Mom tells me that Dogs are not able to see color – whatever that means.

When the strawberries began to ripen it would be a race each morning when Mum opened the
door – who would get to the strawberry bed first me or Mum?

Now I have learned that if I sit and wait patiently Mum will give me a strawberry, I don’t have to stick my face in the wet leaves- I hate water and Mum is very pleased with me for leaving the strawberries alone.  Besides, I can always go and re-check once she is happy she has picked
all the ripe ones – it is amazing how many she misses.